Blessed to breathe, but I am choking on some tough surreal suggestions
Darkness knows and throws in risks, moving in from all directions
Smirking with a riotous flair through the panic stricken session

At the lion’s mouth I stop, then step slowly between clenching
Tasting sawdust on my tongue, breathing aching and the damned
Crippling practice of competing while my voice sounds like a lamb
The crumbled sheets are damp and my body is contracting

Saint-Saëns plays in my ears while my dry lips plead for safety
Get me, leave me, break me, bend me, mend me – please my love
save me – There’s no such thing as gentle fear, it attacks
and it leaves fractures – a most unwanted souvenir

The prolonged sound of a viola wakes me up, there is a view
It looks like a peace I know, looking over fields of clover
Drawn-out movements of a body going through the wear and tear
of the fickleness of fear, but with hope of noble rescues

© Monique (starfish_72)



My fears build futures unseen
by forgetting what’s been
There is no way to describe
how ties cut off light and
doom drums in narrow views

I am fragile and strong
by shaking up storms
I diverge peace to places
kept safe where my breath
delays, while I puff out clouds

Fangs talk about phantom signs
but the thoughts aren’t real
and the feelings that follow
swallow me urgently

I am the light and the fighter
get trained to protect and reclaim
Here to hold my mirror’s reflection
With candles and sickles I uproot
the mind and its fickle sides
The odd generosity of inviting
states, in which days get
confused with the nights

© Monique (starfish_72)


I fear complexities and hide
in darkness with my memories
Songs unlock in constellations
I think ahead without patience
on how my eyes will be read
Tomorrow by masses outside
exposed – I lost that sense of
obligation to the night in letting
go of it – The light I’ll make use
of it – Not betray it as I rest on it
My discomfort, it heard me
It listens and rubs obnoxiously
My song, this mind, my polarities
Thunder, keep breaking it – Heat
stop blending it – I feel it blinking
and I am breathing into it – Pluck it
up and cherish it dammit – I’m alive

© Monique (starfish_72)